"Be Disciplined." Okay! But HOWWW?
People can't simply choose to "be disciplined". Behaviour change science taught me how to create discipline.
When I was a little girl in a cute pink dress…
This popular ad was playing on the TV…
“Pap parap pap pa ra ra…”
I started singing along…correctly.
A guest asked, “Wow. Who taught her to sing?”
“No one. She just sings!" Mom said.
This question has come up many times in my life…
“Who taught you to sing?”
“No one. I just sing”, I say.
Compare “Singer Natasha” to “Disciplined Tom”
“Hey Tom, how do you do XYZ?”
(XYZ is any behaviour that Tom does even on the days when it is hard to do)
“I’m just disciplined”, says Tom.
Singing is the result of practising a set of skills.
Discipline is the result of practising a set of skills.
Singing skills: Pitch accuracy, Rhythmic precision, etc
Discipline skills: Metamotivation, Cognitive flexibility, etc
Both “Singer Natasha” & “Disciplined Tom” have practised some of these skills.
They just never realised how or when.
Maybe “Singer Natasha” heard her mom sing correct notes.
Or practised rhythm with recorded nursery rhymes.
Maybe “Disciplined Tom” practised visualisation before (E.g. In a sport)
Or practised cognitive flexibility (doing something over nothing) at work before.
“Be Disciplined” is like telling someone “Be a Singer”
Discipline is not a choice - To just be or not to be.
It requires learning & practising a set of skills.
“But Natasha, I am not naturally disciplined! Now what?”
Skills to sing can be learnt anytime.
Skills to be disciplined can be learnt anytime.
For singing, we usually start with 1 skill - Pitch accuracy (recognising the 7 notes).
For discipline, you can start with 1 skill.
Don’t know which one?
Maybe you’d like the skill some of my clients start with:
Value Salience
Why this skill?
Values guide our behaviour.
Salience makes values "Pop".
Imagine turning up the volume on a value in your head.
(Like that song in your headphones in a noisy room)
More value salience → You’ll take action even when it is hard → That’s what we call discipline.
Steps to practice the skill:
1. Open notes app (or pen & paper)
2. Write 1 action that you want to be disciplined in. E.g Going to the gym.
3. Write 1 to 5 values (what’s important to you in life) that this action is a proof of. E.g. Strength, Social connection, Health, etc
4. Connect Action to Value in past tense. E.g. “I deeply care about my health. I went to the gym & became healthier.”
5. Keep this list in a place where your eyes often visit.
6. Read this list out loud every time you come back from the gym.
7. Any time you think “Ah! I don’t want to go today!”, let your eyes see this list. With zero pressure to go to the gym.
Your turn.
(This is just one of the ways to practice the first half of the skill. The second half requires more guidance.)
...and if you want to close this gap👇🏼
"I want to change" —> "I did it!"
I'd love to be your behaviour change partner.
Visit natashazorana.com to become your best version with Behaviour Change Science + Feminine Energy Support.